AO: Terminus
QiC: Buttercup
Pax Count: 8
Pax List: Buttercup, Flathead, Gates, Gronkins, Gump, Happy Trees, Martina, Reggie
FNG Count: 0
Downrange: 0
Warm up:
4 count = 30x Side Straddle Hops, 10x Weed Pickers, 10x Merkins, 10x DonkeyHotey’s
The Thang:
Well, it all started with me getting out of bed even though I yearned for the comfort of my fartsack. I grabbed my faithful coupon (the only friend I’ve ever had), two orange cones and a bluetooth speaker for my first attempt at Q-ing w/ musical inspiration. I got there early, set up cones, paired the speaker to my cellular telephone and got farts out while I waited for the Pax.
I put a stop to 2nd F at 530 sharp and began the warmup. I think I heard a couple farts squeak out during Side straddle hops but I tried not to draw attention. I surprised everyone with the bluetooth speaker as I normally forgo joy in the gloom and focus on the pain and hard work that is this limited life. I made sure everyone knew that I had put time and energy into the playlist to create a manly workout support structure through the tunes of lyrical geniuses.
The first track was “I Wanna Dance with Somebody by the manliest woman ever, The Whitney Houston who was no stranger to fart sacking. We moseyed a short distance and began 11’s where we box jumped higher than skydivers and dipped to the deepest of depths. Weezer popped up next to prove my dudely masculinity.
We jumped a small wall feeling as though we were conquering a castle and daintily danced down the hill, as to not slip on the frosty grass shards. We found our coupons just as we had left them, waiting for us like a lovers bosom after returning from a season of salmon fishing in the Great Bering Sea.
I farted while instructing the pax to use their wisdom in choosing a comrade for the beatdown at hand. We would be battling with strength and agility for each of the 4 sets of exercises where winners would receive a reward; a reward that would remain concealed until the strongest had shown themselves the Pax. The first mistake I made was allowing Gates and Gronkins to be on a team but little did they know that winning isn’t as glamours as most assume.
I could tell that the allure of being the best was eating away at the souls of the pax as they were chomping at the bit for directions. “Doo Wop” by Mrs. Lauryn Hill began to play and we began the first of the 4 exercises. 3x thrusters (AYOP) while the other teammate Bear Crawled to the cones and back. The winners of that round were made clear as “Intergalactic” by the Beastie Boys exploded into our ears and minds evoking 90’s memories for those who had survived them and those who wish they had been a part of that era. Gronkins and Gates were awarded a prize of 5 burpees and I exclaimed “the rich get richer.”
Round two was ushered in by “God’s Plan” by Drake and my clear instructions of 3x Squirrels and Burpee long jumps to the cones with a run return. After the tears had dried and the farts dissipated the grand prize was given though with a spirit of charity and fear from Gronkins and Gates to Martina and Gump. Their reward was applause and respect and farts.
The “sweetness” of round 3 arrived with Jimmy Eat World and the instruction was given for the teams to accomplish 3x Kettle Bell Swings while the comrade preformed two back and forth sprints. Again, Gates and Gronkins were shown victorious desiring the prize of the previous round, no doubt. But they were given the ability to punish the rest of the pax with a Mary exercise of their choice. They chose flutter kicks and chanted the cadence as two men squandering their earnings at the nearby pub, drunk on their own power.
The last round began. 3x Alpos while the partner karaoked to the cones and back. Eyes rolled as the revelation of Gates and Gronkins supremacy had yet again been revealed. Their prize this time was being the last in line for a Native American run around the grassy field we call our AO (It’s not much, but it’s ours). We made our way back to the big fat shovel flag motivated by timeless lyrics from “So Fresh, So Clean” by our very own Outkast.
CoT:
Prayers for Gump’s Sister as she aims to resolve her marriage in court.
Prayers for Happy Trees as he was feeling grumpy.
Naked Man Moleskin:
Naked Man Moleskin:
Farting.